Insomnia, anxiety, sickness and more chemo

Well, the difference a few days make... Made it thru the holiday weekend and even went to the Memorial Day parade. Sat under a tree, with an umbrella covering me and 50spf on so that my skin is protected.... It wore me out... Of course... there was more going on..... 

Late last week, I felt like my allergies were on overdrive.... I'm sure they were, but the previous weekend, my 2 year old grandson had a running nose with a fever. Those babies almost always have runny noses.... but the fever.... So, I wore a mask while he was here. I don't think I got the mask on soon enough... I did not have a fever, but my chemo cough turned into a seriously congested cough. Then I felt it going down into my lungs... So Sunday, I started on levoquin, 7 day round to stop this. I can say as of today, it has improved and I feel a difference each day. Whew! 

My daughter, Rebekah is housesitting for someone. I have been spending my days with her because at least that way there is someone to take care of me. Cody just has his hands full with the boys and then he works night shift, so when he works, he needs to sleep in the day. So.... Tuesday I went to her friends house, plus they have air conditioning which we don't.... with all the difficulties breathing from the illness, I needed the air. So.... the night before, I had serious insomnia again.... up until about 3..... I slept for 3 more hours at her friends house. Then the anxiety set in... 

The orthodontist called her. Asked if we made the April payment on her braces. Yes... I watched Brad write it and Rebekah mailed it. Well, they never got it... So I looked it up in our bank-account... the check had not cleared. So.... I got freaking out.... Not what God would want at all... but I just immediately started hyperventilating and panicking about money. We are so close to have those braces paid for and so close to having my car paid for. But the last day I get paid sick time is June 6th. So, I'm freaking out. Rebekah worked with me to calm me down.... of course having a panic attack while you have an upper respiratory infection is even worse! 

Sadly that day also had even more in store for me.... My appetite waxes and wanes. I sometimes want to eat, sometimes not and WHAT I want to eat is always up for grabs. Usually it is peanut butter and banana sandwich, sometimes a baked potato, sometimes mac and cheese, turkey cold cut sandwich or sometimes I am all for the food the family is eating. For some unknown reason, I thought something small from Taco Bell would be good. Rebekah got it for me. I took a bite... eh... it was ok... next bite, the smell bothered me.... kept going and finished that one thing.... Then my tummy felt upset... I thought it will be fine... nope... a little bit later I was running to the bathroom and refunding that meal.... Refunding ALL of it.... Oh it was awful..... 

I was upset the rest of the night.... upset about money, upset because I vomited, upset because I had chemo the next day and was hoping I would not be feeling like this the day before chemo.  As we went to bed, Brad held me and gently rubbed my head and arm as I feel asleep. 

So... Today (Wednesday) I went to chemo... My cousin Barbara took me to give Brad a bit of a break and let him stay at work, especially since I go see Dr Filix tomorrow (Thursday at 945). Chemo went well. White Blood Cell count good, Hemoglobin improved, platelet count great. They were very pleased. I felt ok afterwards, stopped at Coffee Expressions and got my frozen chai latte. mmmm then home... I felt tired and a little drained..... not hungry at all. So, for dinner I had some banana nut bread from Bob Evans and some velveeta mac n cheese.... 

At 9:40 I took my bedtime meds.... including 50mg of trazadone and .25 of Ativan. headed off to bed.... Lay there.... watched tv... Turned TV off and turned on my music... my relax playlist on my iPhone. lay there. played video games. Got up and took another Ativan. Back to bed. lay there. things started coming to my mind about what needs to get done before the wedding... so I pulled out my phone and wrote down the lists of things that need done. Then I lay there more..... tried and tried to sleep. Finally @ 2am, I said forget. I left bed and came out to the living room... the end result is I am watching TV and blogging. I'm hopeful that here soon, I will feel tired and go back to sleep. 

What else.... My hands are a little puffy.... I feel like there is some puffiness in my feet and ankles too.... I feel some anxiety leaving about the money... Brad keeps telling me, it will be ok. I know God and I know that he ALWAYS provides. Oddly today, I was reminded that I am starting a bible study on Mondays June 6th. It is an online study thru my church focusing on the Gospel of Luke. Monday June 6th is my last paid sick day. I do not believe in co-incidence. I DO however, believe in GODincidence. I believe it's a sign from God that as I lean on Him more, my panic and worry will decrease. Maybe something will happen to us financially... maybe God will just show us how to stretch more... maybe God will provide some financial relief. 

Well... It's now coming up on 4am. I'm a little tired again... Let's hope that I can get some sleep.... 

Thanks for reading.... Share Love with all!