Well, it had to happen. I went back to work! I have not worked in a year! A YEAR! But, the time had come and God provided a job.
I started work at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, James Cancer Hospital. THE JAMES!!! God not only provided this job, but it is a job that is only 32 hours a week. For someone who wasn't sure if she could work full time or not, this is a blessing. But let me throw in that at Ohio State, this is considered FULL TIME even though I am working part time hours! What a blessing! I will be an outpatient case manager. I will be working with patients that have leukemia and lymphoma that come in to see their doctor or come in for chemotherapy. I will be helping with home health care referrals, medications, nursing home placements and hospice referrals as well as transportation and other needs that come up.
I started this past Monday (March 20). Oh my gosh! You would never believe how hard it was to go back to work. I came home every day and either rested until 8 o'clock or went straight to bed. It was EXHAUSTING! Then there are my babies. I have been home for one year and spent time with my precious grandsons. They have missed me and I have missed them this week. We will adjust. However, this morning, they came and crawled in bed with their Oma. We watched Sponge Bob together before breakfast.
My Grace (my 13 year old basset hound) has missed me too. She whines and cries every day when I come home like "Mom! Where have you been?" I would like to think our cat, Nymphadora, misses me, but she won't say.
This week has been a challenge. I sit here at 7:45 at night and am ready for bed. I worry because Brad and I are greeters at church tomorrow, so we have to be there early. Will I make it?
What you don't hear about and don't know about cancer is how hard it is to try to get your life back. It's hard as hell! I put on 20- 25 pounds in the last round of chemo. Mostly due to steroids. I'm struggling to get that weight off. My diabetes took a hit because of the chemo. I am now taking Tamoxifen, which is causing me to retain fluid, so now I'm on lasix. AAAHHHHH
So, it's hard. It's so hard to try to live your life again. I was so sick for so long. And I'm not sure if I was sick from the cancer or from the chemo! But I felt awful for forever. So it weakened me dramatically. Trying to get back strength that was taken from you for almost a year is so hard! But it's coming back. It will keep coming because I'm not quitting.
This blog entry is small... but from someone who is trying to get her strength back, it's HUGE!
Love and Peace Always my friends <3
