a week and a half!

     Well, here I am..... the weekend.... resting at home. Brad is at work. Cody and the boys are at a friends house. Rebekah is at school. Grace is asleep on the couch (what a vicious watchdog!). Nymphadora is "catnapping" on the back of the chair with her face to the window. At least she is watching out for me. 

     I went back to the surgeon Thursday. The last two drains were removed! Praise the Lord! I still had to be "bound" with an ace wrap for another 24 hours. I hated that binding. It rubbed and hurt and was just uncomfortable. So, last night, more than 24 hours after.... Brad helped me removed it. It took quite some time. Then I saw it. My new chest. My incision (with steri strips). My current look. I turned to Brad and said "What do you think?" He said "It looks good. She did a good job." I just stared. I said, "seriously." He said, "I think you are beautiful. I love you" Then he just hugged me and cried. He told me he was sorry I had to lose my breasts. We both just held each other and cried. 

 

     So, I looked and looked again. It was quite an interesting thing to see. Never could get in my head what I would look like. There were odd things. Some remnants of stretch marks from when I had my babies and breastfed them. Scars from where my breasts and bras rubbed for nearly 40 years. Little half circles where the bottom of the cup would have been. There is still some fluid in there waiting to be absorbed by my body. In the previous left breast region, if you touch it, little waves go across. Plus I can hear it when I move the right way.  It is truly something I never thought I would see on my body. Again, if I would have been told this was going to happen at the end of last year or even in early January, I would have laughed at you. But, here I am... 

     So, Brad rubbed my back and just below my shoulders in front. He also rubbed where my nerves had hurt so bad from the lymph node removal and from the binding. Oh that felt like heaven! Rub those knots away! Of course, he STILL won't touch my port. If he even starts to touch it, he freaks out. He says it feel like an alien under my skin and it grosses him out. Makes me laugh. He's ok with me losing my breasts, but the port... that's where he draws the line. Too funny. 

     Things are progressing.... I still can't believe this is happening. But, it is...  I'm still in school.... I have an assignment due tomorrow, and then 2 weeks left of this semester! Then I am done until next fall. (Praise God!) My brain is not entirely into it, but it's ok. I have made 6 sunflower balls (will show photo in next blog) for Rebekah's wedding. Working on handkerchiefs for the wedding. Reading Harry Potter (again). Just hanging out. 

     Just remember to spread love. Share positive feelings with everyone. Try to have patience. You never know what someone is facing when you see them. It may not even be a battle within them, but with someone they love. We ALL need love and we all need Jesus. Try to be Jesus to everyone you meet. And, be like a hedgehog... trundle on....