The week after surgery ....

     So, I had my surgery, came home.... rested... Brad took the day of surgery off, and the next two days.... It was so nice having him home.... why can't we be independently wealthy and both of us be home all the time? Brad took such good care of me. 

     I cannot stress the importance of ice paks. Seriously. Ice paks were WONDERFUL on my surgery sites. They felt so good and reduced a lot of the swelling. Seriously, if you have breast surgery, remember ice paks. My breast was sore (and still is) but the most sore was/ is my port site. My thoughts are this is because something foreign is in my body and it has been placed somewhere that there is very little subcutaneous tissue and body fat. It's just tender. Remember, I am a registered nurse, but presently the registered nursing is out the window... I am in patient mode.  I took pain pills, but tried not to take them too much. I would take them in the afternoon and at bed time. Mostly so that I could rest. But (registered nurse talking here) if you need the pain meds, TAKE them! There is nothing wrong with needing them if your pain is increased. Sometimes you need to take them on a scheduled basis. THAT IS OK! EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT! EVERY SURGERY IS DIFFERENT!  But again, ICE PAKS! 

     Not everyone knows what a port is. It is an IV access that the tip of the IV empties into your superior vena cava. It is under the skin and surgically implanted.    This is a photo of MY port (well not mine, but the kind mine is). These are GREAT because it keeps you from having an IV started each time they do chemo and helps protect your veins. Mine is also good for CT scans (that need contrast). It is placed like this: 
 It is really a cool thing and a blessing. It is under the skin and is accessed with a "huber" needle.  This (again, saves you from IV attempts) makes it so easy for the nurses to access your veins. They know exactly where to poke (because of the port) and each time they "hit the vein". They do not miss. So, one poke each time and done. :) What a blessing! One week out my port site looks bruised and is still sore. 

But that's ok.... think of how this will save me getting stuck and some nurses "searching" for veins. 


    So, a lot of resting, watching daytime TV (totally overrated) and napping. I got bored.... Rebekah's wedding is coming and I keep thinking, there are crafts I need to do (decorations, hanker-chiefs that need embroidered). I need things to keep my brain active. During the quiet times is when it gets hard and rough. My mind starts to wander. I think did they really get all the cancer? Is this really happening? I have to do chemo.... really? I'm going to have to stay out of the sun all summer. That makes me sad. Am I going to get sick? Will I lose weight? Will I gain weight? I already struggle with my weight and am overweight... what is going to happen. I have struggled with my diabetes, what is going to happen with that? My grandsons live with me about 75% of the time, they almost constantly have coughs and runny noses... so, am I going to have to wear a mask in my own home? This makes me mad at his parents because his mother smokes and they don't go to the doctor like they should and they seem to be ALWAYS sick... I can't be around sickness like this.... So..... I need things to keep my brain going.... the group at work got me puzzle books.... I start working those.... I do video games on my phone and video yahtzee (the group from work got me that!). 

     Brad took me out on Saturday. We got me some things to do for the wedding. I think I'm gonna need more. I completed one decoration in about half an hour. 

     Sunday came.... what a blessing. Palm Sunday. The beginning of Holy Week. At church, between services we had prayer circles for those battling breast cancer. There seems to have been a recent epidemic of breast cancer in our church. Cancer does not know age. It does not know color. It does not care what is going on in your life. It does not know finances. It does not care. It is not particular. It is just ready to attack at any time. 

     On this week, the Holy Week, I remember my Lord and how He completed so many things knowing how the week would end. In the end, He allowed Himself to be nailed to a cross and suffer death by asphyxiation because of me. Because of you. He knew I would be imperfect and sinful. But He loves me anyway. He died so that I could live. Yes, this world has horrible things in it. Murder, terrorists, rape, disease... We live in a fallen world because of sin. But Jesus paid for that sin and regardless of the shape of my chest right now. Regardless of the disease in my body. Regardless of what a terrible person I am at times. Someday I will go see Jesus and my body will be perfect. Not overweight. Not lumpy with a weird chest. Not disease ridden. It will be perfect. I will have no pain. No worry. No anxiety. No depression. No stress. Only perfect peace and love. 

     Someday.... all this will end...... God bless us all... and if you are suffering from cancer or any other illness.... someday you too can be healed by the master physician.