The Difference a Day and Prayer can Make!

     Let me start by saying thank you.... thank you Prayer Warriors! I'm not sure if God was trying to teach us something and we learned, if he just wanted me to state my feelings and concerns and THEN give me answers or wanted me to ask for more prayer and then give answers OR..... I am just impatient and the answers were coming and I was just a whiny child..... Regardless.... some answers came today... 

     Last night, I went to "bed" early.... I was just done... laid in bed and read.... Brad came to bed and we talked and prayed.... Prayed and cried.... Brad said he intended to start calling today and get things moving again..... Well.... 

     This morning, the geneticist from Children's called Brad... I am BRCA NEGATIVE! Praise the Lord! This means TWO things for sure.... One - my kids, specifically, Rebekah are at no greater risk for breast cancer than anyone else... Two - I do NOT have to have my ovaries removed.... however, surgery.... well...... 

     I had emailed the oncologist's office and then I got the results... So, I called Dr Filix. I spoke with his nurse, Aimee (she is so nice to me). We talked and she said she would go over everything with Dr Filix and call me back. So, before I could get a return call from her, the plastic surgeon called me... the surgeon himself... Told me to call his office, tell them we spoke on his cell phone and to get me in asap. I updated Brad and then called the plastic surgeon.... They talked to me and said could I come at 1:30 today? Um... YES! Texted Brad.... Then... 

     The phone rings... It's Dr Filix's office.... Aimee tells me he could meet with me and go over everything... "I have an appointment next Thursday? Should I come in sooner?" Well..He has an opening at 11:45 today.... could you make it? (It's 11:10). "Yes, I'll be there!". So, a quick call to Brad.... He says "Ok.... I'll meet you there"

     Off we go to the cancer center. We see Dr Filix.... He tells me I could do a lumpectomy, single mastectomy or double mastectomy. It's all up to me. We discuss everything multiple times... We also discuss chemotherapy. It looks like regardless I will have to do chemo. (Ok, I sort of resigned myself to that).... Then I say "Well, I sort of think I just want to do a double mastectomy." I look at Brad who looks like his eyes are going to bug out... He sort of mentions, I thought you were leaning towards lumpectomy. I was.... but now, I don't know... maybe double.... I want to hear what plastic surgeon has to say.... Then, Dr Filix says he will call Dr Daniels, and he does so, right that minute! She is not able to answer, so he says, they will talk... He says get in to see her right away. Ok.... and come see me in about 5 weeks. Ok.... 

     We go to lunch.... Brad states his surprise that I may want to do a double mastectomy. I say, yeah, but.... We also discuss that part of my desire with that may be to have new boobs.... well, yeah..... Then off to the plastic surgeon.... 

     We see him.... He examines me... tells me I am a good candidate for either lumpectomy or bilateral mastectomy.... if we do the double, recovery time is like about 6 weeks, I will leave surgery with 4 JP drains, and expanders in place.... return to see him frequently for measuring of drains, look at wounds, and filling of expanders. Then after all treatment is done, I will go back and have surgery to have expanders removed and implants placed. If I do lumpectomy, he can do what is called an oncoplasty... it is a combination mastopexy and rebuilding of breasts .... so, boobs are lifted up and rounded out so they match. Yes, both breasts! I have actually wanted a mastopexy for a long time... recovery time would be about 3 - 4 weeks, 2 JP drains (one for each breast) and reconstruction is all done. No more surgery... All done.... 

     I cannot start chemo until healed from surgery. Cannot have expanders removed and permanent implants placed until all treatments are done.... So, surgery now and surgery again in about a year or so.... (if I do a double mastectomy)... 

     So NOW I am thinking (again) lumpectomy.... Back where I started from.... Brad says he would rather see me do lumpectomy... I am thinking now that that may be my best option.... 

     One last thing is there is one other test hanging out there... an Onc Dx.... this will tell my recurrence rate. My Ki67 is already high.... it is over 50%.... with that, it shows the proliferation rate of my cancer and the aggressiveness of my cancer.... if the Onc Dx is high, it means high recurrence rate not just in breast, but anywhere.... oh my gosh... so much information! But the good news (and didn't think I would say this) is that those test results will not be back for another 5 days or so.... Which will be in time for me to see Dr Daniels and schedule my surgery. 

     If I had to decide at this given moment, I would say lumpectomy.... I just panic and get scared... I don't know.... 

     So, please keep praying for us.... Pray for peace for us both... Pray for Brad to be able to handle me (ha ha, of course, he has had almost 30 years experience in handling me, so..... I think he will be ok)... Pray that I have a knock on the head moment or moment of clarity or something very specific occur that tells me what to do and what is the right choice. 

Again, right this moment, I am leaning towards lumpectomy.... I just don't know... 

     But thank you all for reading and thank you for the prayers.... and remember everyone with ANY illness ..... Jesus loves you, He loves me, He loves us all! and He hears us.... just remember, when we don't think He hears us, He hears... He is just waiting for the right moment to give us the answer.... 

Peace out!