Had an appointment with my surgeon, Dr Daniels, on Wednesday March 9, one month and one day after being diagnosed. She asked what I had decided, and I told her. She said, ok, sounds good. She reviewed everything with Brad and I. What will happen, what it will be like post op, everything... I signed consent forms for her and asked if I will need to sign consents with the plastic surgeon. Yes, I would have to and they will call to get things set up with him. I stopped in the schedulers office on my way out and she gave me the paperwork I would need to take to the hospital, and said she would get in touch with the plastic surgeon and call me.
The scheduler from Dr Daniels office called that afternoon. She told me she spoke to his office and his staff said they needed to talk to him before they could give a surgery date, but she would call me the next day.
So.... Thursday (today, March 10).... I am waiting and waiting... I really want that phone call to schedule my surgery. No call, no call, no call. 3pm comes... I can't stand it. I call her office. I speak to the scheduler. She just got off the phone to the plastic surgeon's office. They are trying to work things out, but should for sure have a date by tomorrow. I ask, do you think it will be next week? She says "Oh no.... we are looking at April sometime." I flipped. I really lost it. I said "You have got to be kidding me! April?" She says that is the only time the plastic surgeon can work with Dr Daniels. I am floored.... So, I start crying and crying and crying. Real boo hooing... I said "I can't go on with this. Initially you all told me that I would most likely have surgery 18 days after diagnosis, it has been over a month and still no surgery" "I know", she says. "I am so worried about the cancer spreading and Dr Filix said this is an invasive and aggressive cancer, is it spreading? There were no signs of it being in my lymph nodes, but a month has gone by, could it be there now? If I wait until April will it be there then?" She asks if I have to have radiation. I said, "I don't know! That will only depend on if it is in the lymph nodes! I have to have chemotherapy and I can't start that until at least a month after surgery. I have told the doctors, every one of them that my daughter is getting married in June and I don't want to feel like crap at my daughter's wedding. If I have to wait until April, I will feel horrible at my daughter's wedding." Thru all the tears and crying I finally ask, "If I cut Dr (the plastic surgeon) out of this, when could I have surgery?" "Well," she says, either March 14 or March 21." I told her I would talk to my husband and call her back.
Poor Brad. I called him at work and I was crying and crying. He didn't know what was wrong. I finally get it all out by starting off with "how important is the plastic surgery and reconstruction to you?" He tells me repeatedly that none of that is important to him and we absolutely cannot wait until April to have this cancer removed. Maybe later we can re-look at reconstruction, but for right now, lets get this out! So, I call Dr Daniels office back... I tell her I will take March 14th (THIS MONDAY!). She says, most likely surgery will be at 10 or 10:30, I will need to be at the hospital around 7.... but she will call me back to confirm.
Dr Daniels office called back.... Surgery is SCHEDULED for Monday March 14. Surgery will be at 11am, but I need to be at the hospital at 8. This is because they are injecting my with radiation to determine which lymph nodes are associated with my breast. Those will be removed immediately and sent for pathology. Then they will place my medi port. If she has the all clear from the lab regarding the lymph nodes, she will stitch my arm pit up. If there is cancer, she will remove all my lymph nodes. She will then remove the cancer and walk the tumors over to the lab to see if she has clear margins. If the margins are clear, stitch me up! Send me to recovery and then eventually home later that day... :)
I felt so embarrassed to cry at work, to especially cry that hard.... A few of my co-workers talked to me while I was crying and afterwards... offering me love and support. They are truly the best... My dear friend, Dulce, (who will be my daughter's mother-in-law) felt a call from the Lord to come to my desk then as well. She offered me comfort and reminded me that God is in control. He is in control and who knows why things have worked out this way.... He knows!
God does truly have a plan.... Just because what I want doesn't always go with what He thinks is best, it is part of His plan. I truly love my Lord and trust Him.
This week has just been emotional.... not that the other weeks haven't been. A UTI, trying to keep this wrapped around my head.... it's a lot.... yesterday I came home from work and fell asleep around 5:15 and basically slept til this morning. I was exhausted. Then today.... UGH!!!!
In other news.... Rebekah is going to Washington, DC this weekend for an audition. Praise the Lord, I get to go! I wasn't sure if I would... but we leave tomorrow night for DC and on Saturday I get to go to the National Zoo and see the pandas! I have been stalking them on-line and now I get to see them in person. Brad will spend time with the gorillas, Rebekah with the bison.... Andrew can keep tabs on us at all the places... :) We come home Sunday night... Surgery Monday morning.
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