September is here....

Well, September is here... I've done 3 doses of Taxol. The side effects of it so far are tiredness and myalgias. Myalgias being pains in my muscles... I also have pains in my joints. Mostly in my legs. I've been trying to describe them. It's like I have been hit in places and have really tender bruises in these spots. However, no bruise exists. All up and down my lower legs, the inside of my thighs, my hips, my knee and my ankles. Sometimes by the end of the day, it's hard to get up. But it's also hard to lay or sit. I've decided that some tylenol or tylenol pm is good at bed time because it takes away the pain so I can go to sleep. I also have sleeping pills to take, but I need something for the pain. It's not unbearable, but it hurts. It's an inconvenience. Just like cancer. An inconvenience. 

I saw my oncologist last week. At first he said he was going to refer me to the radiation oncologist, then he looked at my chart further and said no. You had a lumpectomy then had a mastectomy. You do not need radiation. I still do not feel 100% secure in that. My chart shows the lumpectomy first. I told Brad (and he not thrilled about this) that I am going to remind him that I had cancer in my lymph nodes. It was only in the breast lymph nodes and those are gone, but it was there. I don't know if that makes a difference or not. I want to make sure though! For some reason, my brain remembers that if it was in my lymph nodes, that I would need radiation. I don't want radiation. I would love to keep from it! However, I also don't want cancer again. I don't want to go thru this. Brad asked me why I want to push my luck! He said Dr Filix is going to think I want radiation. I just shrugged. I said, I don't want radiation, but I want to make sure that nothing is missed! I love Dr Filix and trust him implicitly, however, he IS human! He also has a lot of patients, not just me! So, its ok, I think to tell him, hey... I had cancer in my lymph nodes.... that's why I had to have the double mastectomy after the lumpectomy. So, when I go for chemo this week, I'm going to talk to the nurses and just see what they say and ask if I should call the nurse navigator line or if they can run interference for me or what. Anyway.... chemo again Friday if my blood count is ok... :) 

My hair is growing back... I think it is gray with some dark...   I have always colored my hair... since forever! I don't know if I will now.... I think I will wait and see what it looks like and leave it be. Let it be gray or whatever.... wear it as a badge of honor! Of course, unless it looks bad on me! LOL.... 

What else is happening? School.... school is happening... It moves quick. I am three classes away from getting my bachelors in nursing. The classes are 5 weeks long. The final class is my preceptor course. To say I'm anxious is putting it mildly. Of course, I'm also in the middle of finishing my continuing education credits to keep my CRRN (Certified Rehabilitation Registered Nurse). That is due by the end of this month! ARRRGGG It's a lot, but since I'm not working you would THINK all this would be cake. But not so much. My mind gets distracted during the day. Also this round of chemo makes me feel like I'm in limbo... I'm just here. So that makes it hard. 

Still battling my blood sugars. The family doc put me on insulin, but I'm calling in every 3 or 4 days with my blood sugars and she calls back to tell me to increase the insulin. I'm going nutty nuts... It doesn't seem to matter what I eat or do, they just go up! 

Rebekah is done with her show in Cincinnati (the musical Chicago). She is talking about going to New York for an audition. She wants me to come with her. I can't go with her. What am I going to do? Walk about 20 feet in NYC, sit down and rest. Then get up and walk another 20 feet or so... How am I going to get on the subway with all those stairs to go up and down? It would take me forever to go up and down those stairs. I told Brad to go with her. It makes me sad, but I don't know how I could do it. All I ask is for some pastrami and maybe some juniors cheesecake. mmmmm 

Jaxson started preschool today. Little bugger. He was so excited! 
He cracks me up. He has been talking about it for a few weeks. He keeps saying, "Oma, me going to big school!" So, today he got to go to big school. Thursday he starts soccer. That will be fun... I remember when my kids played at that age. They mostly just ran around in big clumps chasing the ball. I think this soccer league only lasts for like 6 weeks. Its only on  Thursdays. 

Well, that is all for today.... gonna go get my blood tester and call the doctor.... then wait for the return call to tell me to increase my insulin by 2 units. 

Love and peace....