Monday/ Grumpday

I'm gonna start calling Monday's Grumpday...
Why? It seems as though most times, Monday is the day I have my meltdowns... Monday's I just don't feel happy... I get sad, I get emotional, I get angry.... 

So why am I grumpy today? Well, It's Monday isn't it? 

People have been posting photos of the sunflowers that they grew from the packets of sunflowers that they received as a shower favor at Rebekah's bridal shower. I love them. But I get sad, because I didn't get to plant any because of low white blood cell counts, I'm not supposed to play in the dirt. 

My home is a disaster. My husband does as much as he can but with a sick wife, and two toddlers running around, it's hard to keep up. He is also trying to work in the house so that we can change our bedroom with Cody so that I'm closer to the bathroom. That is a tough job in itself. Plus throw in that he work 50 - 60 hours a week. I'm lucky to have him. 

I get lonely. But that's normal. That is to be expected. I'm home all day and it's me and the TV or me and the boys and Cody. 

My blood sugar is still high. I'm waiting on them to deliver the ketone strips so I can check for ketones. If there are ketones in my urine, I'm calling my doctor again. I'm a little upset that she put me on another pill. My blood sugar is not in the 500's anymore, but still, the 300s. I think its still too high. But where was my concern a month ago? It wasn't. Because I kept hearing don't worry about your diabetes. Worry about your cancer. Don't worry about your weight, worry about your cancer.
Well. look where I am.... Cancer, high blood sugar and fat. hmmmmmm 

I'm just grumpy. I'm trying to attack the house today. I asked someone to put the boys down for a nap and then please help.... But whatever. I'm doing it. Quite bluntly, the way I feel today, I don't care if it wears me out. I'm doing it because I'm tired of ... 

My youngest grandson has Croup! YES CROUP! My brother had that all the time growing up. But anyway... Tucker has it. Came to us Saturday with a 102 fever. Woke up yesterday barking. Got a steroid shot yesterday. Is croup contagious? Yes, Very. So, I'm hoping since he clung to me Saturday night, I don't get it. Does it matter? His mom does not monitor him or his brother. She just is not completely getting this whole parenting thing. 

I'm just grumpy and venting.... Also, I hear people say things to me about hanging in there or just trusting in the Lord. I do trust in the Lord. I am trying to hang in there. It's just hard! My life got flipped upside down and now while I am still upside down, someone is shaking it and I'm holding on with my pinky finger. I get tired of holding on and tired in general. I saw a picture of me from a couple years ago when I got new hair... It made me sad... I'm not that person anymore... I also saw a photo from one year ago of me and Brad... We were at Myrtle Beach. That made me sad too... I am definitely not that person anymore... I have lived a lifetime in this past year and I don't think it is about to end anytime soon. 

Brad is selling his truck to get us money. The Chevy Blazer we have needs repairs. I start school in a week and stress is at an all time flippin high!!!! 

Just got a call, we had taken the blazer to the repair shop and the mechanic called and doesn't even want to touch it. Great..... 

Monday's Grumpdays! 

Gotta go..... gotta go get the blazer and in the meantime pick up brake pads, a caliper and roter for the blazer to fix at home.