So, off to work.... trying to focus on what I'm doing, but in the back and front of my head, I keep thinking, I see an oncologist today. Wow... Well, again, God is so much in the details. My co-workers are so stinkin awesome. I left my desk to do something.... I return and this is what I see...
That afternoon, phone call from my dad... man, he is struggling with this. He asks if I can come over that night after work to fill his pill box. I tell him I have to go to the oncologist tonight. "Oh, well, I can't make sense of these pills and this pill box." "Well, Dad, I have to go to the oncologist. I don't know what is going to be said or how I'm going to feel. I can't promise."
Please know, I love my father. I really do.... but my mother spoiled him. Spoiled him a LOT. So, sometimes he has trouble seeing past himself... Especially when he doesn't think that I have cancer.
Before I left work that day, I had another surprise... 2 other co-workers left this at my desk....
So we go to the oncologist. Man that is weird... Weird to say and weird to do. We are called back and meet Dr Filix. He is cute. Like just seems sweet and kind and "cute"... He is very animated and talks to both Brad and I. My gosh, he explains things SO well. Goes into detail about everything with us.... the big things he keeps bringing up are my age and the Ki67 number. I'm 46, almost 47... which it doesn't matter, I'm under 50. This is not normal for women under 50 he says.... While everything else looks promising, the Ki67 is high.... He explains that the "low" score for that is below 18.... Moderate risk is 18 - 32.... Above 32 is not good... Mine was 50 and even the pathology report says beside my number, "Unfavorable". He says that this number represents the aggressiveness of MY cancer. that it is aggressive and a faster spreading cancer. (Which could explain why I have 2 tumors). So, he wants me to have a BRCA test to see if I have the breast cancer gene, or as he says most people call it, the Angelia Jolie test. If that comes back positive, we are no longer looking at lumpectomy, we are looking at double mastectomy. Also, he wants to run a test on the tissue taken from the biopsy (if there is enough, if not we have to wait til surgery). If THAT test comes back high, then maybe lumpectomy, maybe mastectomy, maybe double mastecomy BUT.... if either comes back high/ positive... we are looking at chemotherapy. UGH! NO! So, he explains what type of chemo... that the FIRST round will be every other week for (I think he said) 6 or 8 weeks.... Then after that, the NEXT round will be EVERY week for 12 weeks. So, again, I bring up that our daughter is getting married. When? June 18. He says that chemo would start 4 - 6 weeks after surgery. I could do the first round and then take a break for the wedding.... then start the 2nd round. Then after chemo, I would do radiation. After the chemo, I would also start on hormones because MY cancer is hormone driven by estrogen and progesterone both. He explains to us the two types of hormones that are used. One is used if you are pre-menopausal.The other if you are POST menopausal. The first one has the risk of uterine cancer. Well, that's ok because I have no uterus. I had a partial hysterectomy in 2010... So, no cervix, no uterus... only partial fallopian tubes and my ovaries are left. The second one has the risk of osteoporosis. Also, he explains, I will be on these hormones for at least 10 years to keep this from coming back.
He explains that since the cancer is on my LEFT side, it is close to my heart. There is a risk that some radiation could hit my heart... I could get "sprayed" from the radiation on my heart. He explains that the radiation oncologist would protect my heart. But there is still risk involved. So, he really wants to see what shape my heart is in.... not only for radiation, but for chemo too.... So, another test ordered... I now need an echocardiogram.
Since one of the hormones could cause osteoporosis, we need a baseline of what my bones are like... I need a bone density exam too....
So, now we are looking at more blood work, the BRCA test, other testing on the remaining tissue and an echo and bone density. I had no idea all the detail going into this....
We finally are done with him, and feel like we were punched in the gut again... the treatment is not so clear cut. We need more clarity to determine the best treatment for me...
More labs are drawn at his office.... Especially one that will check my hormone levels.... Then I sit in the scheduler's office. She is calling to get my echo scheduled. I asked, since I am already scheduled for a CT scan, bone scan and chest xray on Wednesday, can we get the echo done then too so I don't have to make any extra trips? She says it makes sense to her... she will do what she can... The bone density is done at a different location....
Well, she says, a miracle occurred... I am having the echo the same day as the other tests.... the bone density is Thursday... Whew! That helps.... Since I already am spending most of the day at the hospital Wednesday anyhow.... Then on my lunch Thursday, I get to get a test done... Woooooo!
After we come home.... we are upset again.... things are so different from last week.... but this is the ONCOLOGIST.... this is his job... he knows cancer and how to treat it.... It's discouraging but.... this may be my new path....
I'm more upset now about my hair.... I had been upset about losing my breasts, now it's my hair.... I don't want to be bald.... Plus, my daughter is getting married.... I don't want to be bald for her wedding....
We are exhausted.... but after a healthy dinner, we go to the gym.... Brad has read that cancer likes oxygen... If you continue to be aerobic, it gets oxygen to your tumors.... if oxygen reaches your tumors, then they stay the same size... if oxygen DOESN'T get to your tumors, the tumor grows and reaches out to get more oxygen... Plus, I need to lift weights to get my arms built up since after surgery I will not have as much movement immediately and need to build up....
The night ends with Brad holding me and rubbing my back lightly and praying together.... Another day.... God is good. and I am loved.....
Dr. Filix is wonderful! Very caring. I am glad you have Braden to do this with and he is reading about ways to help you. AND you are listening! The working out and taking care of yourself is wonderful! You will beat this, you are doing all the right things!
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