I had some hurtful things happen. Then I paused to remember what was taught in church this past week. When jealous/ mean people throw spears at you, like Saul did to David, do NOT throw spears back. David didn't. Just trust in the Lord. Have faith. So, instead of writing a blog or something about the hurt. I want to write about thankfulness.
I am thankful to my friends. In the last year, I have had some friends show me true friendship. It has meant the world to me. Maybe we went to lunch. Maybe you took me to a doctor's appointment or to chemotherapy. Maybe you just stopped by. I had one dear friend take me to pick out a wig. I had one sweet friend go with me for my first post op after my double mastectomy. She saw my chest as it is now when I saw it for the first time. We saw my flatness together. She saw it before Brad did! Another dear one, started a go fund me account when money was no longer coming in for me. Friends provided us with direct financial gifts and gift cards and meals and treats! A sweet loving friend that would call or send little hedgehogs. Friends that provided books and other gifts. Another friend, Faryn Kelly came with my daughter and I to get fitted for my prosthetic breasts. I point Faryn out because she is 22. My daughter (age 22) and her friend came and watched me get fitted for fake boobs. This is not a laugh a minute joyful event for anyone, let alone young women who should not have to think about this stuff. But these young women supported me as I picked out boobs and bras! They were awesome! My dear friend Jennifer, came to the hospital to see me, came to the house and was my preceptor for my final class as I obtained my Bachelors of Nursing degree!!!! I had friends pray and pray and pray!
I am thankful for my family. I had one family member, Barbara Duncan, my cousin and love. She drove 2 hours one way nearly every week in late August, September and October (and a couple times during the every 3 week treatment prior) to take me to chemotherapy. She would drive me to chemo and sit with me so that my husband didn't have to miss work. We would talk and laugh and discuss things that only good friends discuss! It was great! (if chemotherapy can be great!) I had family members give us financial gifts, gift cards and meals. I had family members pray and pray and pray. I had family members text and check in. My sister-in-law, Gena Schultz, checked on me at least once a week! I say at least because it was usually more. Gena lives in Indiana AND had to deal with a severely injured shoulder this summer and then preparing for the school year to start and moving from their home into an apartment while building a new house. Other family members checked in on Facebook and sent encouraging notes! I love my family!
I am thankful for my church. When I first had my double mastectomy (2nd surgery) they supported me and provided meals for me and my family! They also organized a womens prayer circle to pray out breast cancer in our church since it seemed to pop up in epidemic proportions! Because of my church, I was able to connect with other breast cancer fighters!! That was a great blessing! It was wonderful to not have to fight alone!
I am thankful for the Springfield Cancer Center. For many reasons... I am thankful for my doctor, Dr Filix. He was great and knowledgeable. All the caregivers there, medical assistants, nurses, receptionists... so caring and loving and helpful!! Then, there IS the breast cancer support group. I go there once a month. I am able to connect with other survivors and fighters!
I am thankful for framily. What is framily? Friends that are family. Specifically, my daughter's new in-laws. I have other friends that are framily, but her in-laws are not just her family, but our family too. Their friendship and love and family has been more than I could write here. The friendship and family love extends from just Rebekah's mother, father and brother in-law. It includes her new grandparents, new Tios and Tias. The blending of her family and his family has been incredible and all that they have done is impossible to describe!
I am so thankful for my children. They watched their mother go thru so much. No one should go thru what cancer patients have to. Even more, no family member should have to watch their loved one go thru it. My fight, although it was AWFUL and chemotherapy SUCKS was nothing compared to some. But my children loved me through it all and laughed when appropriate and cried with me too. They are good kids. Even my little grandsons (4 and 2) gave me love. Even when I wasn't lovable.
I am INCREDIBLY thankful for my husband, Braden Espich. He is one of a kind. When I was sad, he held me. When I was in recovery from my double mastectomy, the first words out of his mouth were "Hi beautiful". I never felt less beautiful in my life. He loved me. When I was mean (and I was mean at times), he called me out on it. THAT is love. When you love someone so much that you call them out on being mean and tell them to stop! But even though he called me out, he loved me. He helped me with my chemotherapy. He held my hand when things hurt physically and emotionally. There are no words to tell all that he has done and continues to do. I am so thankful that in 1987, the Lord saw that we should be together. I thank the Lord for him every day.
Most importantly, I am thankful for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, there is no way I could have made it through this last year. He stood by me. He held me. He pushed me and pulled me when I couldn't go on my own. He brought people into my life that I needed. He removed people I didn't need. He prompted people to provide us gifts. He prompted people to check on us and show love. God has been there with us through all of this. I cannot say enough. I can say that without the Lord, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here physically and we would not have survived financially. I love Jesus and am so thankful that He loves me. I'm also thankful that people heard and felt his promptings and followed thru. :)
Ok..... there is my current list of thankfulness.
Thank YOU for reading this long blog!
Love and Peace.
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