Cancerversary

Well... I hit my second Cancerversary. It's been two years  since I heard the words "you have cancer". Oddly, it was two years ago today that I posted on Facebook that I had cancer. I told my family and close friends first. Then I told my co-workers... then after some dust settled and I had seen the surgeon, I told the world.  

That's funny. A Funny statement. The dust settled. The dust hasn't settled. Not really. It's been two years and for two years I've been fighting. The fight hasn't ended. Two years in and I wonder if it ever will. 

So, what has happened in this past year? So much! 

I went on Tamoxifen after I finished chemotherapy. I had to because my cancer was estrogen and progesterone driven. Because of that, I am "required" to take antihormonal medications (a type of oral "chemo"). So, I took the Tamoxifen. It caused me a TON of fluid retention. I caused me to go into depression I hadn't known since my mom and grandma died and to go further into depression that even that. (partly because I couldn't take the one antidepressant that helped me because it reduced the effeciacy of the Tamoxifen). It caused me to want to die. It caused my heart to feel nothing but death. But, I was reducing the chance of recurrance. Not a fair exchange..... 

I also got a new job. The job I had when I was diagnosed did not hold onto my position. They held my job for me MUCH longer than legally required by the federal government. They decided, AFTER, I was released to return to work (only part time) that they could no longer hold my position for me. So... I was jobless. So, I looked and waited upon the Lord. I listened to Him and waited... and waited... and waited... What seemed like an eternity to me, was not. I started my current (and I hope my LAST) job on March 20, 2017. I hope this is my last job for many many reasons. :) 

I lost some weight. Not nearly enough, but some. I lost the steroid face! That was AWESOME!

I got new boobs! No, I didn't have reconstructive surgery. But, because I got a new job, I had new insurance. So, I was eligible to get new prosthetic breasts! These are so much better than the old ones and a bit bigger and even more realistic! I also got swim boobs! So, this week, Rebekah and I are going to look at a mastectomy shop for a swim suit top that will hold my swim boobs! 

I also changed oncologists! Such a great thing for me. I now see Dr Williams at The James Comprehensive Cancer Center at The Ohio State University. Such a great decision. Wish I had done it so much sooner. 

So... I went off the Tamoxifen. That in itself is a story. ( I will post a blog entry on that, hopefully later this week). Thought I was post menopausal. Found out I wasn't. Then I found out a month or so ago, that I finally truthfully am! 
I am now on Arimidex. It blocks the hormones too, but doesn't shut down my ovaries since they shut down on their own. 

I have survived another year. I wish I could say I have done more than survive, but that's not factual. I've not. I've survived. I know that is an accomplishment, but I wish I had more. But don't we all sometimes? This has been a year of learning. Not one I would wish on anyone... But It's been another year. 
Another year of being with my husband. Another year of watching my kids. Another year of loving on my grandkids. Another year of learning. Another year of meeting new people. Meeting new friends. Another year of seeing where God will take me. Another year... That's a gift. Not everyone gets another year. 

Thank you for another year.