What a year!

It's been a year! That is meant in multiple ways... It has been a year (and a month) since I had my double mastectomy. It has been one crazy year! 

How are things one year out? Well, I have found out that my immune system is seriously not back to normal, no matter what the labs say. A few weeks ago, I was sick for 5 weeks straight. I had 2 back to back urinary tract infections, one that had me bed bound with a 103 fever. I spent the week after that trying to continue to recover and developing a cough. The cough got worse and worse to the point, I ended up with high fevers again, 102 thank you very much! I was then diagnosed with pneumonia! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! So, I am no longer taking my immune system for granted. 

My mind says that I am back to normal and life is great. My body says differently. My body says you are so silly! You need rest! You need recovery! 

Example: I started back to work. I am so fortunate to have obtained a job at The Ohio State University James Cancer Hospital. I am an outpatient case manager. I am still in training. The training process is long. I had classroom work initially (which is when I had pneumonia). Now I am working in the inpatient setting as a case manager. The idea is that I can perform my job better in the outpatient setting if I have an understanding of what occurs in the inpatient setting. I will be working inpatient until May 12. This job is a Monday - Friday job, 8 - 4:30. No weekends. No holidays. AWESOME! Then, throw in that this job is a part time job, I only work 4 days a week/ 32 hours. But Ohio State considers that full time. So I get all the full time benefits. 

So, I go to work Mon - Thurs right now. However, I come home every day and am so so tired. I usually have to just rest and go to bed early every night instead of doing things around the house. Also, the oral chemo I'm on, the tamoxifen, cause my legs to hold water. I have to take lasix for this and wear compression socks. yippee! I'm old! It's really hard to mentally understand all this. When I am so exhausted every day. But it's getting better. 

My hair.... Well, it's growing! It's very curly. My eyebrows returned but not completely. They are thinner than they were. Thankfully my eyelashes came back! Of course, mascara helps them a lot! I also use an eyebrow pencil to help my thin little eyebrows. 

What am I still fighting? I fight myself! I worry some that the cancer will come back. I worry that I will get myleodysplastic syndrome which is something that people can get as a serious side effect from the chemotherapy. I worry about my brain... learning this new job has been HARD! I think part of it is because of chemo brain. There are days I just can't think. How do you explain that to people? Sorry, I used to be smarter but thanks to chemo there are days and times I just can't think. So I fight myself! 

I am still fighting breast cancer with oral chemotherapy. I take the tamoxifen every day. I will take this until my body officially goes thru the change, then I will be switched to armidex. I will take one of these for 10 years. The real down side of this is that the tamoxifen is causing edema. It makes me crazy! I'm talking 1 - 2 + edema. When I travel, it is so much worse! It takes days to get that fluid off of me. 

I'm fighting my blood sugar. My primary doc has changed my meds a couple times. We are trying to get my blood sugar back under control. It is NOT easy. It is SO HARD! I'm trying. She's trying. In conjunction with that...

I'm fighting my weight. I put on weight. Yes, I put ON weight! The steroids and the decreased activity caused me to put on about 20- 25 pounds. I'm trying to get it off. My doctor, with the changes she made in my medicine, is trying to help too. I am so embarrassed by my weight. I have no boobs but have a HUGE butt! I would like to run again, but thanks to the chemo, my hips and knees hurt. UGH!! 

I think about things that probably need to be said on a daily basis, however, right now, chemo brain! Can't think of them! 

Well, that is all for this entry! 

Much love to you all! 

Love and peace.